Ha

Question of the day – why is eating booty like groceries?
I mean we’d just say buy groceries we wouldn’t be like:
‘Yo what did u have for dinner?’
‘Groceries.’

Talk about laziness?

Hola ego

“I don’t think you can leave this room even if you want to.” My ego said.
“You think you’re in so much power and control huh?” He chortled.

Hola ego, you need to check yoself before you wreck yoself.

Catdoglog

Me: Are you a cat or a dog?
Tomas: I am a cat with a lot dog feelings.

I think I am a cat who has a lot of hidden dog feelings.

I think I am a cat who thinks it’s kinda uncool to be a dog sometimes.
I think I am a cat who thinks it’s kinda cool to be a dog sometimes.

I think I am a cat who is scared to embrace my dog feelings.
I think I am a cat who is scared to feel my dog feelings.

I think I am a cat who wants to be a dog sometimes.

Who am I?

The need to own a gun

The need to own a gun stems from fear.
You fear that someone is going to take your shit or kill you.

Where I’m from, I never had that fear.
Why?

It feels safe.
Nobody feels that fear where I am from, and also in many other countries. This fear is very minimal/next to non-existent.

Why do we feel safe?
Because we don’t feel the need to be violent so we don’t feel the need to defend violence.

Once you introduce the right to own guns, the game is over.
Why?

It becomes an arms race.
A dangerous arms race.

An arms race is dangerous.
Why?

Crazy person: ohhh I am so crazy. I’m going to shoot some motherfuckaaaaaassssss then kill myself.
Masses: Omg, crazy person! Omg, deaths! Omg, I need guns!

In the greatest nation on Earth, namely the United States of America, it’s written on the second amendment that oh it’s your right to own guns. Please own some guns.

“FreeeeeeEEEEEDOOOOMMMMM MOTHERFUCKAAASSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Game is over at that point already.

Why?

Fear has been instilled.

More fear you have, crazier you become.

No wonder there are so many sick fucks in this great nation – It’s a great accomplishment.

玩具反斗城內的法律

成個玩具反斗城淨係得一條法律:
好多糖糖=好成功=好開心

你晤跟呢條法律,犯法架。
爸媽:『人來,拉佢入青山。』

爸媽:『要搵食架嘛。』
有好多BB有好多糖糖都仲係掛住搵食。
咁停留係搵食啫係點?啫係停留咗係生存物質層。

爸媽:『要積穀防飢架嘛。』
有好多BB有好多糖糖都仲係掛住積穀防飢。
咁停留係積穀防飢架啫係點?啫係停留咗係生存物質層。

爸媽:『個個都係咁架啦,所以就係啱架嘛。』
有好多BB有好多糖糖都仲係掛住跟風,
而跟風係玩巨反斗城就係搵好多糖糖。
咁停留係跟風啫係點?啫係停留咗係生存物質層,

哦,我明白啦!
原来您成日咁肚餓想要糖糖,唔怪得知你成日喊啦BB。

 

在玩具反斗城內最危險的武器

唔係BB槍,唔係BB劍;
而係思想。

思想主導人的運作。
思想可以改變言行。

改變言行可以改變世界。

你以為淨係林寶堅尼同天璽先係最貴嘅奢侈品?唔係。
思想在此處先係奢侈品,因為有錢都買唔到。

思想係武器。
有思想,玩巨反斗城才有新希望。

當你具有如此殺傷力強的武器時,周街嘅人都會對你避之則吉,覺得你係線已痴的BB,唔想再同你玩。
不過係玩巨反斗城內,如果要脫離迷迷糊糊嘅糖糖同Godiva朱古力人生,
你必須要做個線已痴的BB。

別人笑我太瘋癲,我笑他人看不穿。
線已痴的BB,恭喜你有望進化做成年人。

玩巨反斗城

香港係一個玩巨反斗城。
因為香港有好多BB,人生圍繞著嘅都係基本生存物質層:
食、玩、訓。

呢個玩巨反斗城入面,有好多玩具,靚樓,靚車,靚衫,應有盡有。

由朝到晚,啲BB都係都喊:
『我要靚樓!我要靚車!我要靚衫!我要Godiva朱古力!』
『我唔要瑞士糖!』
無上述的玩具就喊喊喊到天昏地暗。

此地方是非一般的玩具反斗城;
而係玩巨反斗城。

玩巨是此地方的願景。
否則你就係廢BB。

『擎天半島?屌,天璽攻擊力勁過你400倍啦。』
『Lexus? 屌,林寶堅尼攻擊力勁過你400倍啦。』
『中大?屌,港大攻擊力勁過你400倍啦。』

越巨越好,越巨你就最有前途。

 

在玩具反斗城內拍拖 - 第一篇

點解係玩具反斗城拍唔到拖?
BB又點拍拖結婚呢?都唔識談戀愛。

點解係玩具反斗城啲生育率咁低?
BB又點生仔呢?都無性慾(reference)同生殖能力。

點解係玩具反斗城啲BB唔識笑淨係識喊?係咪基因出現咗問題?
有啲嘢,係講遺傳嘅。上一代嘅BB可能都唔識笑,呢代啲BB都所以唔識笑。

係玩具反斗城入面拍拖真係好難。
由於此處的BB日以繼夜不停喊嘅關係,極端負能量大量刺激大腦嘅中樞神經系統,因而製作出精彩絕倫的BB仔BB女81宗罪。

BB們咁唔鍾意大家,點會想同大家玩?

在玩具反斗城的拍拖世界非常可愛:

-BB仔同BB女第一次約會 -
BB女:『你有冇糖糖架?講明先呀,我唔要瑞士糖架咁cheap,我要高貴大方的godiva朱古力架,唔係你唔駛旨意同我玩架。』
BB仔:『下。拜。』
BB女從此無人理,因為佢高貴大方到連瑞士糖都接受唔到。

- BB仔想約下心意BB女出街 -
BB仔:『你玩緊咩呀而家?』
BB女:『無嘢玩緊呀,好得閒。』
BB仔從此無繼續跟進,因為怕被一個好得閒嘅BB女拒絕唔侵佢玩,驚好樣衰跟住係咁喊。

以上的可愛情景都是基於一個問題:
怕輸。

BB由細到大都係睇母語錄大,其中的十戒上提到:
執輸行頭慘過敗家。

原来怕輸係我哋係玩具反斗城見唔到有拖拍嘅基本原因。

在玩具反斗城推行民主

在日新月異、科技昌明的時代裏,而家嘅BB未學行先學走嘅行為已經進入咗塵世間的最高境界。

嗌完『我要靚樓!我要靚車!我要靚衫!』等的玩具後,進化能力驚人,開始嗌:
『我要民主!』

有接觸過BB嘅朋友們都知道,BB係好現實而且缺乏分析能力的生物。

『BB,我有糖糖,仲係Godiva朱古力,請投我一票。你投咗我之後做咗特首BB,以後你阿媽唔俾糖你食,我就即刻打救佢,我係真心架。』
『票已投,糖給我,唔該盡快搞掂埋阿媽單嘢。』

而家講緊嘅呢類BB唔係普通BB,係香港品種嘅BB。
香港特產BB:現實指數超出世衞指標。

如果有咁多糖糖同Godiva朱古力嘅人原来係金魚佬BB,會好大鑊。
玩巨反斗城嘅罪案率將會係驚為天人,尤其是強姦案,日日夜夜都有人報警金魚佬BB非禮鄰家BB。

係一個充斥著BB嘅玩具反斗城搞民主,最後係會有好多強姦案。
咁多強姦案,會好唔開心,社會保障同人身安全受到威脅。

當BB進化成成年人後,先諗民主會實際啲。